I'm driving...driving along..driving along..lalalala
OH LOOK, THERE'S SOMEONE PULLING OUT
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!
BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE HOOOOONNKKKKK WHY DID YOU PULL RIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF ME!!???!!
What's that!?!
You're giving ME the finger!!??!!!
So.
This is what I learned today.
I can pull right out in front of someone driving along, and when they screech on the brakes and look shocked and afraid, it's their fault.
And when they honk at me out of stress and fear, I should indicate to them through hand signals, that they can "Fuck right off."
Thanks.
I didn't know that before.
(Like how I put a 'kinder-gentler' spin on the whole thing?
I cleverly disguised this post as a 'thank you' note to the driver who opened my eyes to the new rules of the road.
Subtle, no?)
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3 comments:
Here in SC I know they teach that in Drivers ed, on my 15 minute drive to work I get pulled out in front of on an average of 3 times daily. I kow they see me, I have a small Neon but the color is "Intense Blue", a bright bold blue. I have become so used to it I expect people to pull out in front me.
OK, Tai, you need to consider a small modification to your vehicle—ram bars. Pull into the nearest doughnut shop, grab a screw driver out of the glove compartment, and detach a set form the nearest police cruiser. Then install them on yours.
Better yet, sell your vehicle and buy a cop cruiser, a la Blues Brothers. You get a souped up engine, room for a kickass stereo, and the ram bars already attached. Plus, it comes in a stylish white with racing stripes down the side, and its own siren! What more could you ask for?
Your lucky Today I had a Semi- cross some white hashmarks right into my lane and then pull back into his own lane. AAAAnd of cours out came my secret vocabulary.
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