Monday, November 22, 2004

Irony 101

Well, I hear that my little home town has recently been over run by bears stocking up for the winter ahead.

The local dump, where most of the bears have been gorging on garbage for generations and teaching there offspring the same, has recently been fenced off from the outside world. The bears, of course, find this incredibly frustrating, and have taken to raiding the neighborhoods and gardens of the locals.

Bears have been sighted sleeping IN dumpsters (presumably waiting on the next seating for dinner), resting on porches eating apples, demolishing garbage cans that unwary residents leave out and in general, making a mess.

This includes leaving evidence of their dinners in the form of large droppings down the main street and sidewalks of the town.
In fact, they've also plowed through my fathers fence and hedge in an effort to get at the fruit trees in the neighboring yard (I guess their entrance wasn't inviting enough!)

So now that the bears are considered 'nuisance' bears, and 'problem' bears, there's only one thing left to be done of course..SHOOT THEM ALL!
Oh yes, the wise people in charge have slaughtered almost 20 bears at last count. And now the townsfolk can sleep well, and the trees can bear fruit in safety.

They closed the dump because it was felt that the garbage wasn't very good for the bears.
I guess they were right.

Monday, November 15, 2004

A rant to myself.

....ummmm, okay, here it goes....

On smokers.
I have many things to say about smokers. Having vacillated between being a NON-smoker for almost 5 months now, and being (horrors) a 'smoker' (read in the sneer), I feel required, nay...obligated, to say something.

"Oh, Horrors" indeed.

I can't think of any other singularly devious addiction than smoking.
For instance. Cigarette butts. Strewn EVERYWHERE!
I USED TO STREW THEM EVERYWHERE! What was I thinking!!??!!!
UGH! And I didn't see fit to strew them just where I live, uh way, I tossed them all over Europe too! (and I offer humble apologies for fact, if anyone wants to pay for me to go back and pick them up, I'd're not going to pay for it? Rats.)

And far beyond the detrius I cast about, what about my LUNGS...and my FRIENDS lungs!!??

Sigh. You see. It's devious. It takes an otherwise intelligent, caring individual (I am referring to myself here) and turns them into a raving, littering thoughtless beast. (still referring to me...)

But I got better!

So that's my rant on smoking. I offer sincere condolences and multitudes of thanks to my friends and family members who managed to see me through the cloud of smoke I walked around in.

(p.s. November 24 is my 5 month mark. Yay me!)

Saturday, November 06, 2004

It's a funny thing...

...I have a friend who is dying and fighting to live, and another 'friend' who is living and is fighting to die (and working hard at it), and another who struggles with life in general and I wonder what it is that dictates health and happiness or despair and dying amongst us.

Now, I don't believe there is a omnipotent being who hands out our it is by sheer dumb luck that my other friends lead happy contented lives?
No, that can't be it...I know very well that they have all worked, and continue to work (very hard, I might add) to have what they do.

So why joy for some and pain for others? Where's the rhyme? The reason?

It's an old question, I suppose. And I realize it has no answer.

Thus, I sit in my little apartment, sipping some red wine, listening to some old jazz...rolling my eyes as my cat snores (yes, he IS snoring) under my old and shaky coffee table, while I turn the pages of the book I'm reading and am extrordinarily glad that I have this to enjoy. For now.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Alas, my soothsaying has proven correct.

I told you so.

I told you.

Now we're all doomed.

AND, (my apologies to the Americans who DID NOT vote for Doubleyuh) it just proves that we are standing beside a country that believes in it's fear-mongering, mentally-disadvantaged, paranoid president.

We are all in big trouble, but none will suffer more that 'Merica itself...and she's gonna take the rest of us out with 'er.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The Election Down South

At the risk of sounding like I'm a fear mongerer (is that a word?)...I have to say (I HATE to say) that I believe that Doubleyuh Bush is going to be re-elected.

Don't ask me why I would harbour such trecherous thoughts, but I do, and folks, we're all in trouble if I'm right.
I honestly believe that once he's done as much damage as he can in the parts of the world that he's obliterating, it won't be long till he turns his baleful gaze our way.
After all, we're a successful (okay, there's room for argument there) nation. Pretty content as far as all things go, but we didn't back Doubleyuh.
We left him to go forth on his own to wage war, I foresee revenge on his mind.

I hope not. But he's a paranoid president and he's not very clever.

Happy Thoughts...

I was GOING to title this "Foolish People and the Crappy Things They Do", but you know...there are to many negative occuring in this world everyday to sit and brood about them.

Thus, the title. Now I have to find something to be happy about!
I don't think I'll be happy that this morning some 'recently moved in neighbours' left all of their SODDEN cardboard boxes lying in my cars path when I tried to get to work this morning.

In retrospect, I suppose I can be happy that it wasn't raining as I stood outside trying to move all the wet boxes that ripped apart when I touched them, scattering the garbage contents around, out of my way so I could get to work.

Gee, yeah. I think I'll be happy about that.

I suppose I COULD be happy that I have a job to go to, whilst so many are unemployed.
I would be happier being independently wealthy, so I guess there are levels of happiness.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm a '4 happy' having a job.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm a '10 happy' I don't have a job working out in the rain.

I guess it IS all relative.

Okay, I'm happy with the possibility of being HAPPIER! ok universe, I'm ready!