Monday, November 22, 2004

Irony 101

Well, I hear that my little home town has recently been over run by bears stocking up for the winter ahead.

The local dump, where most of the bears have been gorging on garbage for generations and teaching there offspring the same, has recently been fenced off from the outside world. The bears, of course, find this incredibly frustrating, and have taken to raiding the neighborhoods and gardens of the locals.

Bears have been sighted sleeping IN dumpsters (presumably waiting on the next seating for dinner), resting on porches eating apples, demolishing garbage cans that unwary residents leave out and in general, making a mess.

This includes leaving evidence of their dinners in the form of large droppings down the main street and sidewalks of the town.
In fact, they've also plowed through my fathers fence and hedge in an effort to get at the fruit trees in the neighboring yard (I guess their entrance wasn't inviting enough!)

So now that the bears are considered 'nuisance' bears, and 'problem' bears, there's only one thing left to be done of course..SHOOT THEM ALL!
Oh yes, the wise people in charge have slaughtered almost 20 bears at last count. And now the townsfolk can sleep well, and the trees can bear fruit in safety.

They closed the dump because it was felt that the garbage wasn't very good for the bears.
I guess they were right.

No comments: