I'm having too much fun to blog!

I AM around...but I've had no urge to blog about anything of late.
Certainly, I have had (more than) my fair share of fun and amazing experiences that are blog worthy. Also some crappy things that could be complained about.
And definitely some strange things, too. My life wouldn't truly belong to me unless something strange was going on.

Oh! And I'm another year older! Say hello to 36!

So there you have it. I'm having a fun and interesting life and as a result, I'm too tired to blog about it.

Take care all! I'm reading you!

Here in spirit.

I AM still around, but my blogging time has been dramatically curtailed as of late. (They actually want me to work at work. Go figure!)

So know that I'm popping in on occasion and forgive me for my absence!



(The handsome beast to the right is Bentley, he is sorely missed.)

Hey, four-eyes!

I've been wearing glasses since I was 8. And believe me, I've heard just about every derogatory remark ever know to man and pissy grade three's you could ever hope to hear.

About 7 years ago I went to see if I could have laser eye surgery to once and for all have my eyes corrected.

"Your cornea is too thin. Wait a few years, the technology is always improving."

So it was with bated breath that I went to my preliminary exam for laser surgery last week. "Your cornea's too thin. Your prescription is too high. Wait a few years. The...."

Yeah yeah yeah. Heard it before.

Oh, and Doctor? Your technology is no match for how fast my eyes are deteriorating.

So. That's it. I'm not going to bother again. After the eye doctor suggested I apply to have lens replacement surgery I walked out thinking, "Nah. I'll just have to be sexy in my specs. I think I can do that."

But I'd be lying if I told you I was wasn't terribly disappointed. Because I was. I just wanted a chance. An option. An opportunity to have this magical treatment that would allow me to see.

And when I finally stumbled outside into the light, I must admit, I wept inwardly for a moment at not having the choice.

And then I had to feel my way into a store to have the shopkeeper dial whatshisface's number to come pick me up.

Those dilating eye drops are murder.

Pictures from the weekend.

Plenty of flowers this Mother's Day weekend!

My Mom and I spent the day wandering on trails and enjoying the intermittent sunshine.

The large splintered tree blocking the path didn't come any where near my car! It was a good day.

And speaking of books.

Here's a list of books I've read in April. Just in case anyone was wondering what I do with my time.

"Brother Cadfael's Penance" ~ Ellis Peters

"The Blind Watchmaker" ~ Richard Dawkins

"Affinity" ~ Sara Waters

"Stolen" ~ Kelly Armstrong

"Alchemy and Alchemists" ~ Sean Martin

"Children of Kali" ~ Kevin Rushby

"Pilgrim" ~ Timothy Findley This is by far one of my favorite books.

"Industrial Magic" ~ Kelly Armstrong

"Madame de Pompadour" ~ Nancy Mitford

"Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" ~ Helen Fielding

"Friend of My Youth" ~ Alice Munro

"Gutenberg: How One Man Remade the World With Words" ~ John Man

"Haunted" ~ Kelly Armstrong All of these Kelly Armstrong titles are about supernatural women; vampires, werewolves etc; set for the most part in the present day. The stories are good and the plot races along but all of her main characters are identical. Kind of a pity, because otherwise I recommend them.

"The Island of Lost Maps: A True Story of Cartographic Crime" ~ Miles Harvey

"Touching the Void" ~ Joe Simpson Joe Simpson suffered a nearly fatal fall while climbing in the Peruvian Andes. I've read this book several times and it has never failed to have a chilling impact.

Books are important.

"For him that steals, or borrows and returns not, a book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to his agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw at his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not. And when at last he goes to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever."

~an inscription at the library of the San Pedro monastery in Barcelona.

That about sums it up. The bit about the bookworms is particularly pointed.

Crazy. Not stupid.

Whenever I mention to someone that I'm not scared of anything, I invariably get the same response. "You'd be scared if someone had a gun to your head, or if a large truck was racing uncontrollably toward you."

Well. Yes.
I would be afraid. I'm crazy, not stupid.

What I mean is, I don't have any irrational fears.

Rats? Mice? No problem. I once walked out of my apartment building to come face to face with a large rat sitting on the handrail. We stared at each other for a moment and then each of moved calmly on. Also? Pol and I had pet mice for a while. Wen, Mousameeque, Turbo and Torque. Very sweet they were. Especially Mousameeque.

Snakes? Nope. Held many a snake in my time, including a few very large constrictor's (Thanks pseudo-Alice Cooper! The best thing about your show was the snake. Remember that one, Spider?)

Um...bats? Well, I've never really seen them but at a distance and I admired their long, swoopy (it is SO a word!) flight around the lamp posts on their hunt for dinner. Nothing scary about that.

Heights? I went up the CN Tower once, in Toronto. They have a glass floor inset that I strode across. Other people would stand at the very edges looking down, clutching their significant others trembling and looking pale. I don't think my walking across it made them feel any better.

Enclosed spaces. I haven't really ever been 'trapped' in an enclosed space, and I doubt it would be fun. But I've been in a cave or two, and wiggled through cracks and crevices enough times to know that it doesn't bother me.

What other irrational fears are out there? Spiders? Ha! I pulled on a shirt once and stood brushing my hair in a mirror when a large fat spider crawled out of the shirt and up my neck. It surprised me, that's true, but after a momentary pause, I scooped him/her gently up and deposited it outside. Can't blame me for the rain!

Planes are a big fear for many. But I've been really fortunate to fly quite a bit, and have, in fact, flown both a plane and a helicopter myself (wheeeee!) and found it exhilarating.

Oh, I almost forgot about needles! Nope, not scared of them either and I have the tattoos to prove it.

So that's me.
Of course, being 'fearless' isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I seem to missing the instinctual 'voice of reason' that keeps others safe.

I have often put myself in questionable situations because I wasn't afraid. Walking alone along deserted streets late at night through bad parts of town, accepting 'candy from strangers', riding on motorcycles with people I don't know, and generally careening through life without much of a thought for danger. (Come to think of it, on several of those occasions I had friends with me. I don't recall them putting a halt to my activities. Kimber! Spider! What happened to my exterior "voices of reason"?
I rather suspect they came along to pick up the body parts and prepare a feasible story for my Mom.)

It's amazing that I'm still here, whole and sane (don't laugh!) and un-traumatized.

How 'bout you?




I posted a picture of a wee rabbit 'cus I figured no one would appreciate large pictures of snakes, rats and big needles. I like you guys too much to want to scare you away!

Seriously...why.

My landlord owns both the house I live in and my neighbours house. Occasionally, he shows up to talk with the neighbours.

Do you see all that space behind the little pick up truck? Yeah, there's room for him to park his car there.

But he didn't.

Instead, he opted to drive his car up on our lawns and park. When he was done conducting his business, he proceed to drive across both lawns to get back on the road.

And I was worried about getting the lawn mowed.

But you know what they say about older men driving fancy cars, don't you?

They have very small....IQ's.

The 'Eyes' have it.

After all these years of wearing glasses or contacts, I'm seriously considering eye surgery to correct my (extreme) myopia.
I looked into it years ago, but the technology wasn't up to the challenge so I wasn't considered a good candidate.
I've recently booked an appointment for the preliminary exams with the hope that I may be, now. Still, it's a huge cost, and technically, it's rather unnecessary...I can make do with contacts and glasses for the rest of my life, but it would be such a treat not to have to worry about them any longer.
(And the costs for those add up over the years!)

My eyesight has steadily declined over the years since I was eight years old. In fact, I rather believed I'd be blind by the time I was 25 but fortunately, that wasn't the case. (Though I have to say, my prescription now is way beyond the 'norm'. I think most people with myopia have approximately -1.5 to - 4 on average and anything above that is high. I'm at -9.5 in one eye and -10 in the other. And that was from an eye exam 3 years ago. I'll bet it's even worse, now.)

I'm not nervous at all about the actual surgery, things like that don't bother me. It's the cost! It's a rather substantial amount...when all is said and done it'll be just over $3000 (this, of course, includes hotel accommodation, travel expenses and the like. The initial exam is done in Victoria but the surgery is done in Vancouver.)

Well, we'll 'see' how it goes. It may be that I'm not a candidate at all; there are some clinics that can't accommodate that degree of myopia. It won't bother me if it can't be done, then I won't have to agonize over spending that much money.
But one day, I'd really like to be able to open my eyes in the morning and just see.

New word!

"AWKWEIRD"

You can use it for describing how you feel when you've just tripped into a large open pit that is guaranteed to make everyone involved feel 'awkweird'.

For instance:

You go out to a great get-together for a co-worker on Friday night. Monday morning you run into the one person in the office who was specifically NOT invited * forget, and then proceed to blab away about how much fun it was and what a great restaurant you dined at.

Your faux pas is made blindingly clear by the blank and stunned look on the person's face and the flat, "Oh. That sounds nice."

This moment is followed closely by you stuttering "Uh, well, it was really nothing much. Just spur of the moment. Really. Kinda lame. Uh."

Say it with me, "AWKWEIRD!" **

* Yes, I work in an environment where some people are excluded from group 'after work' occasions. I don't like it so much, but there you go.

All the office politics were in place before I ever arrived and I try to keep my head down and not get involved. But I guess I am involved.

It rather sounds like I'm trying to excuse myself here from rather bad behaviour, doesn't it. I suppose I am.

I kind of understand WHY she's not invited, she's not very well liked in general though I have nothing against her personally.

Perhaps I should just decline going to those parties from now on. It might assuage my guilt.

** No, fortunately, it wasn't me. One of the 'invited' guests accidentally mentioned it to the uninvited co-worker. I felt bad for her. For both of them, as a matter of fact.

2 + 2 = ?

I placed my lunch order.

"That's $10.00, please."

I handed her a twenty.

She paused.

Opened the till.

Pulled out a calculator (!).

Discreetly tapped in the (complicated!?) sums.

Consulted with the other staff member.

"So you give her $10 dollars back." The reply came.

Hesitatingly she handed me a ten and looked at me quickly to ensure she hadn't made an error.

Is it just me? Was that not bizarre?
I swear, I'm getting less and less patient with things like that.
It was all I could do not to cock an eyebrow at her and inquire how grade two was working out.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Open Letter To Kansas School Board

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.

None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is.

For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.

We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia.

I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken.

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.
P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

Victoria Parliament at night.

Blog lazy. And Flying Spaghetti Monsters.

Well, it's not really laziness. I just don't have anything of import to say. The flowers are blooming (though it remains cold), my car is waiting to be fixed from the last insult, work is work.

I'm looking at hiring someone to mow the yard as I don't own a lawnmower nor do I plan to purchase one anytime soon.
Truth be told, I don't mind mowing the lawn, but one day down the road I'll be moving into an apartment or suite, and then what will I do with a mower?
It seems to make more sense to hire someone who owns one in the meantime. And besides, I rather like the idea of having a 'gardener'.

I've been thinking about religion lately.
It's enough to say that I'm not religious and I'm finding myself less and less able to tolerate religious ideals dictating world policy. And they do.
Pat Condell really lets loose on this topic, and I find myself nodding and agreeing as he speaks his mind. I don't know his background or his education level, but I find that he puts very succinctly (and more than a little cynically) my general thoughts on the subject.

Any of his YouTube posts are great, there's something to offend every religious belief equally.

Hooray!

Hello, Spring. I am SO glad to see you. This winter has really been a bear. Your fresh face is a delight. Stick around, you're always welcome here!

*The photo is of a small corner in Spider's garden...I had to use it, it's just so beautiful! I'm willing to bet she won't mind.*

Fritz.

As in, "My home computer is on the fritz." Where that saying came from I'm not sure, but there you have it.

It's screen is dismally black, forcing me to blog from work. Guess I'll have to tote it into the nearest repair shop and hope that they can easily remedy the problem for a very small charge.

It's not so bad, blogging from work (though my boss may have a different opinion), but my Thursday night "World of Warcraft" stint may suffer if I can't get this fixed in time!
(Yes. I am an online computer 'gamer'. My nerd quotient is hereby raised exponentially.)

Oh! And have a great St. Patrick's Day!

Yes! Another meme!

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Sitting in a busy, warm restaurant with a glass of good wine with my best friends for company waiting for a perfect meal.

What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear? I'm not sure. I suppose it being kidnapped and killed. It would seem to me that being vanished from friends and family leaving them to their fears and sadness would be terrible.

Which historical figure do you most identify with? The women who stepped out of their pre-assigned roles and strode forth to say, "If a man can do it, so can I." And then proceeded to do just that.

Which living person do you most admire? I admire people that go out of their way to help others, no matter the cost. And there are so many of them.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My insistence that things be fair and equal. It just can't always be, and I get really upset by it. I don't enjoy that about myself. Logically I can get past it, but emotionally I can't and I end up in ball of anger and frustration and sadness all at the same time. Ugh.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Unfairness. (See? I can't escape it!)

What is your greatest extravagance? World travel.

What is your favorite journey? The night train ride across Europe. Leaving a country speaking one language and waking up having to speak a different one was amazing to me.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I haven't ever spent any time considering this, so I don't have an answer. Although the phrase, "Patience is a virture" gets on my nerves on occasion. But that's not really the same thing, is it.

On what occasion do you lie? To preserve feelings.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My hair, but it's a minor angst that can be easily resolved at a salon!

Which living person do you most despise? I despise people who use others to forward their own agenda regardless of damages or pain. Many world leaders might fall into this category, but it's certainly not confined to them.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "Oh! I just read something about that!"

What is your greatest regret? That there was nothing I could do but stand by and watch while some of my friends deteriorated into homelessness and isolation.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? Bentley.

Which talent would you most like to have? I think I'd like to be able to play a multitude of instruments with some talent. And again, there's something that's doable!

What is your current state of mind? Relieved.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? It's cohesiveness.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Having discerned at a very young age who my true friends were and held on to them tightly throughout my life.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? Oh, I don't know. A Ferrari? In Germany. With easy access to the Autobahn.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? I'd come back as a well loved, much coddled cat.

What is your most treasured possession? The relationship I have with my Mom.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Working at a crisis centre, I hear so many examples. I have a tremendous sympathy for those who live with mental health issues that don't allow for them to ever experience relief from it...it often leads to homelessness (in the more extreme cases) and alienation from the very people that can help. And so many just fall through the cracks and, because of their affliction, are unable to help themselves.

Where would you like to live? Italy or France.

What is your favorite occupation? Reading.

What is your most marked characteristic? That I read. All the time.

What are the qualities you most like in a man? The ability to sympathize with others.

What are the qualities you most like in a woman? A wicked sense of humour.

What do you most value in your friends? Everything. But mostly their steadfastness.

Who are your favorite writers? Oh boy. There are SO many. K. Bannerman springs to mind. Simon Winchester. Robertson Davies. Ellis Peters. Alice Munro. Carol Shields. The person who writes out my paycheck is one of my favorite, too!

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Brother Cadfael at the moment.

Who are your heroes in real life? My mom.

What are your favorite names? Some of these questions are so thought provoking and others are so...not.

What is it that you most dislike? Rudeness. Unfairness. Selfishness. Schnitzel.

How would you like to die? Quickly, with a great peace in my heart knowing I lived well.

What is your motto? "Don't let fear or common sense stop you!"

I don't know who painted that picture, but I love it!

Can you see the light?

In 1995, I was dating the bass guitarist for the Canadian based "Jeff Healey Band". I went to Toronto to visit Joe, and ended up spending lots of time with Jeff as well.

That was the same summer they opened for the Rolling Stones benefit concert at RPM, and as a result, I ended spending lots of time with Mick and Keith, too.

Jeff was always extremely welcoming. I was included in all the band activities, and he had Joe and I over for dinner several times. I was introduced to all his cats (he had 3) and he always made sure I was comfortable and happy. I was at the photo shoot for the album they put out that year (it's the picture in the corner) and attended a variety of band functions always feeling like an honoured guest.

The Jeff Healey Band was the recipient of Juno awards, Grammy nominations and chart topping singles, yet I don't recall Jeff ever talking about them. Everything Jeff did was focused on music and people and enjoying both, he never seemed to be concerned about the fame.

He was funny and irreverent, crass and thoughtful.

He loved Baby Duck, that cheap Canadian champagne that is more sugar than alcohol. He used to tease me by ordering it in fine restaurants or calling out for it in the middle of a set. "Tai, bring on the Baby Duck!"

I recall threading our way through a hotel lounge once, Jeff and Joe on each arm. Despite being blind, Jeff dragged us through the cluttered reception area never once bumping into a single chair or coffee table and calling back for us to hurry up.

A few years later, I saw Jeff playing trumpet for his other band, "The Jazz Wizards". He loved everything about jazz, and had a radio show on the CBC where he got to talk about his love for this music (and his amazing collection of jazz records) to his hearts content.

He died yesterday, from cancer. He was only 41. His wife and children remain, as well as his musical mark on the world.

I needed that!

Josie, you just made my day. Thanks so much!

"Tai's blog really raises the values as far as good writing and subject matter. She raises the bar, and when I started reading her blog, I wanted to emulate her standards. I don't think I have ever seen Tai post a "tacky" blog post, even when her car was hit by a tree (yes...) she kept her cool."

If you haven't already rushed over to visit Josie, I think you should. There's just something about her misnamed 'boring little blog' that shines out with a splendid humour. That, and a very astute view of the world makes her blog one of the ones I read every day (and if I'm lucky, sometimes she posts twice!)
And boy, can she paint!

I've just had it up to here.

I was sitting in my living room last night when I heard a tremendous BANG.
I looked out my living room window and there was the neighbour, firmly backed into the front of my car.
My car alarm blared and sounded...my car had been hit. Again.

So can anyone tell me which god I might need to make a sacrifice too? And what, exactly, would suffice? A new tire, burnt over a sacred flame? Perhaps a fresh can of oil, tipped gently into the gutter whilst murmuring fevered words of prayer? Would sacrificing a perfectly good air filter release me from this wretched curse?

The universe hates my car.