Mos*qui*to = A dark minion fresh from the dankest levels of hell.
MOSQUITO
Main Entry: mos•qui•to
Pronunciation: m&-'skE-(")tO
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -toes also -tos
Etymology: Spanish, diminutive of mosca fly, from Latin musca -- more at MIDGE
: any of a family (Culicidae) of dipteran flies with females that have a set of slender organs in the proboscis adapted to puncture the skin of animals and to suck their blood and that are in some cases vectors of serious diseases
TORTURE
Main Entry: 1tor•ture
Pronunciation: 'tor-ch&r
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Late Latin tortura, from Latin tortus, past participle of torquEre to twist; probably akin to Old High German drAhsil turner, Greek atraktos spindle
1 a : anguish of body or mind : AGONY b : something that causes agony or pain
2 : the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure
HELL
Main Entry: hell
Pronunciation: 'hel
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old English helan to conceal, Old High German helan, Latin celare, Greek kalyptein
1 a (1) : a nether world in which the dead continue to exist : HADES (2) : the nether realm of the devil and the demons in which the damned suffer everlasting punishment -- often used in curses or as a generalized term of abuse b Christian Science : ERROR 2b, SIN
2 a : a place or state of misery, torment, or wickedness b : a place or state of turmoil or destruction
MOSQUITO TORTURE HELL
So, anyone gleaming what the general topic of today’s blog is going to be from the above entries?
If you guessed unmitigated mental (and physical) anguish in the deep dark corners of the night, you’d be correct!
Lucifer himself decreed that I should lie awake in endless torment, awaiting the whining, soul destroying 'zzzzzzzzttttt' that announces a host of mosquitoes set to converge on my poor, prone sleepy body and bleed me dry.
I was sound asleep last night, when I awoke with a start; something hurt!
Something on my body was burning and insanely itchy.
OH, it’s my entire right arm and left kneecap.
DRAT! There’s a horde of mosquitoes in my room!
“OH PLEASE PLEASE,” I begged out loud to the enveloping dark, tears streaming down my face in fervent supplication...my hands clasped at my chest in an age old gesture of humble and earnest entreaty *, “Please leave me be...look yonder,” I pointed at the prostrate body of my sleeping cat, “Take him. I have to work tomorrow!”
(At this point, I have to admit to a certain amount of guilt about that whole 'offering up of the cat' part.
But before you judge me too harshly, consider the considerable misery and torment that must have induced me to offer, as sacrifice, my cat to the demanding and vicious mosquito god...but he’s a right bastard (The "mosquito god" I mean...not my cat of course)! But I had no choice! I was tired and oh so itchy.)
That incident takes me back to the time I was riding a beautiful white horse across the plains of the Camargue in Provence.
I think it was lovely. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was.
The wild black bulls, the amazing and startlingly pink flamingos and vast green wetlands, all would have been a wonderful thing to see as I rode along that memorable day.
Unfortunately, the many flocks of MOSQUITOES that also grace the rough and rugged beauty of the Camargue got in my way.
All I could see was a great, black swarm of the blood thirsty agents of Beelzebub coming to carry me away to their pestilent leader.
The travel agents certainly didn’t mention THEM in their pamphlets, now did they!!
In short, I wage a daily battle against that wee terror.
I fight valiantly though, killing as many as I can with wild abandon.
I do, despite the knowledge that it's a war I'm destined to lose.
*oh, I do go on so, don't I!
** I've been SUCH a deviant blogger these days that I'm reposting things. BUT, the same hell-driven insects visited me this year so it's not as if it's irrelevant.
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13 comments:
You re-posted.
*shakes head* I am so ashamed for you.
Slacker ???
As one who didn't read the original, I give you respite from complaints and say - great post, I enjoyed it!
Should everyone re-comment?
and yeah what h.e.eigler said
Try and focus on the fact you have weather beautiful enough for them to bother you atall....? :-)
Hey Tai.
Think of it as a rerun, like on TV...While the overpaid actors are doing who-knows-what to god-knows-whom...we get to watch reruns of the shows we so enjoy...
So...once in a while we get to read (or re-read) the best of the Bloggers we so enjoy!
The story had the potential to turn into a romantic vampire-type tale...yet the mosquitos fall short of the coolness of a vampire (kinda like that Dave Navarro guy)...
I hope all is well these days, Tai!
Take care out there!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
P.S.
Maybe get one of those nets for over your bed?
Just like the TV says, if I haven't read it, it's new to me.
I hate mosquitos. So, so much.
lol, I hate mosquitoes too. They drive me up the wall, especially up in northern Saskatchewan, they are horrid.
btw, I'm diggin' your standard driving, pool playing, dark glasses wearing self. You may just be the woman of my dreams. :p
Re-posts are fine as long as you update or change them. Call them New and Improved! It's fine to offer up your cat. Cats can scratch behind their ear with their foot. How do all those mosquitos get into your room in the first place? Here's what I do. Now read these instructions very carefully because they're complicated: I close the window.
I didn't read the original post, so this is new and original to me. And a good post.
We don't have mosquitoes in Kitsilano, but my family, who lives in New Westminster, is regularly eaten alive.
Horrible little critters.
I am soooooo lucky! And I have been meaning to BLOG about it. My grown-up ears don't hear the little demons anymore unless they are practically IN my ear!!!! Hooray!
The bites suck, (LOL) but the squealing promise of immentent torture was much MUCH worse in my opinion!
So there you go, a good reason for losing the hearing a bit! No mosquito noises!!!!!
Your re-post was a new post for me, so I don't mind. lol.
What misery the friggin' buggers can put you through! I had to smile because living in Georgia, I am no stranger to the bloodsuckers. Still, I vowed not to complain ever again about my mosquitos after a camping trip in Idaho this summer when I was actually surprised to discover upon my waking moment that flesh was still covering my skeleton.
You are a bad blogger! Bad bad bad bad! Why do you post so seldom?
YOu are missed. :-)
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