Thursday, September 28, 2006

Hey, Zombies! Keep it down, I'm trying to sleep here!


1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Hmm, seems rather harsh. But there's a certain president of a certain country with a shrub-like I.Q. that could stand some blowing up I think.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Wow, these questions are really aggressive! Ummm...I don't know. I mean, all they are doing is singing; it's pretty innocuous.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? uh. See question 1. I mean, if I'm going to blow him up, what's a little punch in the face?

4. What is your favorite cheese? St. Agur. Yum, smelly blue cheese.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? Mmmmm, butter, cream cheese, red onion sliced very thinly and avocado sprinkled with hand harvested French sea salt (of course!), and fresh cracked black pepper on toasted multi-grain bread.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Well finally, someone I don't have to blow up or punch! How 'bout John Malkovich? Joaquin Phoenix also springs to mind. Angelina!?! So many to choose from!

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? I have slept with a music-celebrity of my choice, so my quota is filled. (No, I won't kiss and tell!)

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Silly question...on books of course!

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Southern France, mais oui!

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Good wine and delicious food. Bring on the buttery garlic snails and a fresh baguette; all that sleeping around and traveling has made me hungry!

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...? Seems a little excessive, non? Well, if I MUST choose. The finest red wines will have to do.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Who the hell is Rufus and why does he have a time-traveling phone booth!?! Why does he want ME to go time-traveling in his stupid phone-booth?? Well, I suppose if I must answer the question I'll say the Italian Renaissance...15th century. As long as I'm a Medici. What will I do? Eat of course. Have my portrait done. Try to figure out who the hell Rufus is.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? First rule: No one named Ralph, Jack or Piggy will be allowed on the island.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise? It'll be called "Feminine Protection" and be a true to life story of 4 young women in charge of the safety of a castle. Complete with magic and swords of course.

15. What is your favorite curse word? H-E-double-HOCKEY-STICKS!!

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Shoo them away in an irritated fashion and go back to sleep. I hate being woken up for nothing.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.So what's the item? My Brian Scott painting. Oh. Wait! My vacation pictures...NO! My St. Agur cheese!! That's a tough question. It certainly won't be my couch. It can BURN!!

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Go to my office and tidy my desk of course.
Gee, what a silly question! I'd spend my half-hour tell my family and friends how much I love them.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be? Invisibility. What sneaky fun!

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? I think I'd like to spend another half-hour lounging in bed with my cat Bentley. I miss him.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (the answer "nothing" doesn't count) School time from about grade 4 to grade 12 seems like a pretty good idea!

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now? Italy, they have the BEST coffee.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? One in Ireland, I think. They have so much fun!

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"? Well, I'd just 'float' my special-powered self directly over to Spider Girls. She'd really appreciate seeing me levitate I think. Only I wouldn't call her dude. And I would say levitate.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? I'd like to have a chit chat with Richard Feynman I think. But I bet Mozart would be pretty interesting, too.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Death AGAIN?! What's with death and that other "death-angel" thing hanging around me for, anyway? Well, I guess I'd bring back my cat. I know I know, the question says person, but damn it, that cat THOUGHT he was a person!

27. What's your theme song? "Highway to Hell"...or maybe "Bad to the Bone"? I'm rather partial to Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" as well, but that's just me.

16 comments:

E. Rivera said...

That sandwich sounds AWESOME.

(Procrastinating packing up for the move, are we?)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I MUST do this meme.

Jo said...

No. 6 Clive Owen.
No. 9 Russia.
No. 17 My own paintings.
No. 25 Queen Elizabeth I, or Robert Mitchum.

Gosh, this is interesting. I will have to do the rest of it.

kimber said...

FINALLY! A meme worth doing!

(and I'm sorry I haven't called you back yet, but once the houseguests have returned home, and life returns to normal, I'll be ringing you!)

Deepak Gopi said...

very interesting.

Anonymous said...

Trying to sleep? With who this time?

You've had so many to choose from.

JM said...

Oh my gosh--"Ralph, Jack, Piggy"--my favorite book of all time "Lord of the Flies".
Questions 1 to 3, I agree are aggressive. I don't really codone violence, even if it's make-believe. I'm such a wimp, I would have left them unanswered, just cause I couldn't even think of bringing harm to anyone, no matter what kind of person they are. I think I may have a pansy gene.

Dinah said...

This sounds awesome. I must do it.
I died when Jack and Piggy and Ralph aren't allowed on your island. So true.

Zambo said...

Hey Tai!

That was great! I liked your answers.

I am just catching up and a lot has been going on with you lately, huh? I hope the packing is going well. Best of luck with your move! I hope it goes smoothly.

Take care out there!

Your Pal,

Zambo.

P.S.
Rufus is the character George Carlin played in the "Bill and Ted" movies...

Barry said...

I just wanna know who thinks up these things

Spider Girl said...

You can levitate on over to my place anytime you want. I'd be most entertained.

And by the way, you crack me up! You are hilarious, girl. Really. The mummies? I could actually see you shooing them away in irritation.

And of course I'd like a leading role in "Feminine Protection". That's a given, right?

adman said...

Bradgelina may get upset...no need to drive a wedge between anyone...now that Molly Parker...as for theme songs written by AC/DC...I've always been partial to "Ride On" off the Dirty Deeds album...Actually, Dirty Deeds would be a good one also.
Have fun in Victoria...I hear its a nice town...my wife lives there.

David Amulet said...

Wow, that's a long read! Good answers, though, for the most part ...

-- david

Ian Lidster said...

I stole it from you -- OK? What terrific questions. I'll post mine later.

cheers, Ian

Pol* said...

Zambo got my answer..... is it sad that I remembered Rufus and the telephone booth right off the top of my head? I bet Leonardo deVinci would be worth a resurrection too! Fun list by the way.... the answers were most telling.

limpy99 said...

A friend of mine teaches high school English and always, (well he claims he does anyway), sums up Lord of the Flies thusly: "And then Piggy takes the rock"