Last year I had a strange and uncomfortable encounter with a man from my neighbourhood.
I wrote about it at the time under Safe and Sound.
After that particular incident I continued to see him off and on around the area.
It sure felt like he was just circling around looking for me.
When he did just happen to see me, he would just stare and stare.
And I don't mean a quick glance to 'check me out', or a querying look as if he knew me; no this was a full on gawk.
Yuck.
Over the winter he seemed to have disappeared (I had hoped for good), but an evening stroll tonight proved me wrong in an even more annoying and alarming fashion.
As I set out on my evening constitutional (does anyone ever call it that any more?) I noticed the man in question driving in the opposite direction.
And staring at me.
Of course.
Trying to think nothing of it I continued along my way, turning right at the corner.
I managed to get half way up the street when SCREEECH!
There he was.
Blocking my way!
He had just rocketed around the block to find me, and was now PARKED halfway in a driveway deliberately blocking my way!
Pulling down his sunglasses he gazed over the top of them, "Do I know you?"
"Just from the neighbourhood." I replied; my dark sunglasses hid the daggers I was shooting him.
"Oh, 'cus I thought you gave me a big smile as I drove by."
'You wish'. I fumed silently.
Out loud I ever so cleverly replied, "Oh."
I started to go around the back of his vehicle just as he asked, "What's your name?"
"Tai." I answered instinctively, then promptly cursed myself to all the ends of the earth.
Why oh WHY did I say that???
Why couldn't I have said "None of your freakin' business" or pretended I hadn't heard him and kept walking?
Damn damn DAMN!!!
"I'm Brad. Nice to meet you." He simpered on, "Sure is nice to have neighbours like you."
"Okay, have a nice evening." I finally marched my inanely polite self* around his vehicle (which was still firmly parked in my path) and didn't look back.
So.
There it is.
A creepy man is following me around MY neighbourhood and doesn't have any qualms about pulling his vehicle to an abrupt halt in front of me to FORCE me to stop.
I'm a little worried.
But here's something that he doesn't know.
Last year I was concerned enough about his actions to have made note of his license plate number and the make and model of his vehicle.
I also pointed him out to a friend of mine who would have no problem making very short work of him indeed.
Am I nervous?
A little.
But frankly?
He's got a lot more to be worried about.
*So what the HELL was I thinking??
What held me rooted to the spot, unable to channel some good old righteous indignation at having someone force me to do something?
I'm surprised I didn't just give him my damned address and invited him over for tea!
What the hell WAS that??
Oh.
Right.
Years of being instructed to be polite, no matter what the cost.
I'm really going to have to unlearn that.
The hard part is, being polite comes completely unbidden.
When put in a situation that I'm unsure about I resort to being polite.
Oh sure, I can invoke some cold icy politeness, and even a solid tight-lipped smile to indictate (barely) my disapproval...but that's HARDLY the effect I'm going for.
Rats.
What I should have done would have been to say in a loud and imperious tone, "Get your filthy car out of my way, and NEVER speak to me again."
Ah well. Wait till next time.
No...on second thought...
I hope there isn't a 'next time'.
28 comments:
That's horrible- that guy should be.. hey, that picture of you at the top of this posting... are you checking me out?
What a creep. Or perhaps while you're unlearning your polite ways, you could teach yourself that sharing your pepper spray with stalkers is also a proper thing to do.
It's the curse of the Canadian. Even when we want to be rude, we are polite. You should be more like me, an asshole through and through. It comes in useful in situations like these.
You could give me his name and number to if you want. I know people who know people, you know? Hell, I'll 'talk' to him myself. I can be very persuasive when the occasion warrants.
You know, it is easy to second guess when the moment is over. Many of us might have responded in the same fashion. The good thing is that your senses were on high alert, and rightfully so. I might suggest that you grab a book on stalking to read up on how to manage this if it occurs again. Here's one that I recommend:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591020913/sr=8-1/qid=1149599522/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-5937957-2528056?%5Fencoding=UTF8
Oh, I don't like him! This totally creeps me out. Can you let the police know, or ask them if he has a record or anything? Wear a wedding ring when you walk! Get a dog! Carry pepper spray!
And my girlfriends and I often wonder why we're so meek and polite when aggressiveness or rudeness is completely justified. We just don't know!
Oh, dear Tai. What an unnerving encounter. You did the right thing in getting his licence #. A friend of mine who underwent the same thing did this, for what it's worth. She packed a small digital camera with her. When the guy made his presence known, she held up the camera and clicked. She never saw him again. Creeps are invariably cowards. Otherwise, please be vigilant and take care of yourself, dear friend.
Happy Evilus (06/06/06). >=)
Hey Tai.
That certainly is creepy. I was going to mention getting the vehicle info as I was reading, but then I was glad to see that you already have that covered...Now all you need is a taser (just in case)...
I hope he's just socially awkward and harmless...Perhaps he just wanted you to notice him and he doesn't know how to deal with women...but the old "block her path with your car" certainly shouldn't be in a guy's "WAYS TO DAZZLE HER" repertoire...
Would re-routing your constitutional be out of the question? Just a thought...(Though the question Why should I change my route? may spring to mind...the answer is: Because he sounds sorta crazy)...
Take care out there, Tai!
Good luck!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
remember your other pal --> kick in the groin.
just say it when you want to be left alone.
like "go away"
"leave me alone"
make sure there are people around you and scream like hell!!! Rapist rapist!
what else.... drop coffee on him - make sure it's hot
throw rocks at him.
hahem... unless you find him a bit attractive...
grrrrrrr... I resort to instant politeness, too, but I've discovered that, when push comes to shove, there is a great big rabid polar bear inside me who isn't afraid to defend herself. I hope it doesn't come to that, Tai my dear, but I know you've got one hell of an inner beast, too.
Let's not give him the benefit of the doubt -- this creepy guy is stalking you. (Rule of thumb: anyone who uses his car to block a woman's way is a asshat.) Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pass your information along to the authorities as a 'person of note'? They like to hear about strange and creepy men acting inappropriately, especially if you can back it up with his car's licence plate, make and model.
BTW, I'd love to have seen X3 with you, but the opportunity presented itself, and I wasn't sure when it would come again. One thing Z's taught me is carpe diem right now!, because in half-an-hour, she might be crying!
"don't I recognize you?"
"Uhm, maybe. I used to volunteer with the Vancouver Police Department, perhaps you know me from there?"
That should keep him away. Hah!
Ewwwwww, that is so gross! I HATE it when stuff like that happens... and yes, it IS because of the "good manners" being drilled into you as a youngster. That built in feature prevents things that SHOULD be said, from ever coming out. What a creep. Maybe I should send up some of my biker friends to kick his butt. :-D
Ack. I've done that too!
That is one creeepy man,and you are doing all the right things to keep yourself safe.
I'm with Zambo,switch your route and if you see him again you can decide whether or not you want to take further action....
Hi Tai
You are such a nice person, but maybe thats why we all love reading your posts...So before this stalker creep changes you from the nice person that you are, by all means feel free to pull out a gun and shoot him...then say "excuse me"...
other than that, what gnightgirl said...
be careful out there...
No doubt your good manners come naturally, but blackcrag made an interesting point. On a recent visit to B.C., I noticed that everyone there is really lovely and uncommonly nice - the gentleman in customs, a couple on the ferry, everybody on the bus, the guy on the corner who explained the different toonies to me...
The pepper spray and camera sound like good ideas... take care, Tai...
You Canadiens are too polite. Buy a gun. make a habit of carrying it around your neighborhood. start putting tinfoil on your head and talking about "The End Times"
Classic post, as always. I think Brad has the hots for you. I wish I could have some chick chasing me around like that. What an asshole (reference to my blog). I might definitely file a report if he tries to follow you again. STALKER.
Actually, since you don't know this guy, being polite is probably the best way to go because you never know what will 'set' a person off.
Don't let yourself feel threatened though.
Sweetie, I hope they have anti-stalking laws in place that are as good as Florida's.
oooh hope there isn't a next either..he sounds uber creepy...it sucks when you can't feel comfortable in your own neighborhood :(
Maybe you should get a very BIG dog.
I really like the camera idea..... so happy that your "creep" instincts were on high alert, even if you were polite.
Oh my gosh, I hope nothing comes of it. Be sure to keep notes for just in case...(this blog probably does the trick). I can't stand creepy people like that. When I lived in MS there was this 19 guy who would go out of his way to walk past our house. By out of his way, I mean, leave his trailer part across the highway, walk through a path in the woods that only me and a few other people used to get to our church and school, and walk by our house. He would loiter until he saw me. And if I passed on the hwy he would wave and wave and just stare. Ugh.
So seriously, be careful because you never know.
Jeez - creppy creepersons! Watch out for that guy.
wow, THAT IS SO CRRREEPY...Good that you have his licence plate number, but next time make sure you take your cell phone with you and if he stops you again, call 911 IMMEDIATELY; I think you should let him know from the "get-go" that you are not going to be intimadated by him, and that you are not going to accept his "advances", weird as they are.
...anyway, on a more cheerful note, FINALLY, after two days i have something up...but not what i wanted...i still have lots more photos...but i am having such trouble with my Blog (and now my coffee's gone cold!)...anyhoooo, some nice photos are up on my site for your enjoyment.
Yea, I would be freaked about that too. Hope he just disapears, but for good this time.
Know exactly what you mean about how we (especially females) are trained to behave. Think that's what gets half of us in trouble.
Creepy is an understatement.
I work in a public place where I can't control who wants to speak to me, or who drops in. Sometimes it can through you off when you give out a business card and then you realize that person has your name, and they could look you up on superpages, and then you start to consider whether or not you should go with call display. Then you realize they know where you live.
Sounds like you are watching your ass, but damn it all, I am way too polite too!!! I understand that queasiness when you know someone is just watching, or aware of you.
PS there is some great advice buried with in the comments...
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