Thursday, May 11, 2006

"Oh, whatever that place is. Up there. In the north. With the sled dogs."

It was last week that I started on the tome The Rise of the Vulcans.
It's a look at the recent history of America's wars, and the cabinet that has dominated over the years.

Here's the review Amazon did; I think it encapsulates the book pretty well:
"The Rise of the Vulcans explores the power behind the George W Bush throne.
While campaigning for president in 2000, Bush downplayed his lack of foreign-policy experience by emphasizing that he would surround himself with a highly talented and experienced group of political veterans. This core group, consisting of Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Armitage and Condoleezza Rice, has a long history together dating back 30 years in some cases. Dubbing themselves the Vulcans, they have largely determined the direction and focus of the Bush presidency. In this remarkably researched and fascinating book, Mann traces their careers and the development of their ideas in order to understand how and why American foreign policy got to where it is today."


So, it WAS a fascinating book, full of questions and insights.
The most endearing thing about it (if it could be said to be endearing) was the fact that I didn't get a sense of bias.
Mann wasn't deciding if the circumstances were good or evil; there was no suggestion of his personal feelings towards the events, merely information.
(Though one can't help but wonder if he secretly smirked while mentioning the reference Bush made to President Vladimir Putin as 'Pootie-Poot'.)

But I have to admit to you good and gentle readers (who will NOT laugh and point), that while I made note of the fact that France, Britain and even Mexico were all given their place in the great whole scheme of things...not a single word about Canada was evident.

Not one.

I even checked the index to see if I had somehow overlooked a reference to the GREAT HUGE CHUNK OF LAND to the direct North of the States.

Nope.

Nada.

Um...hello, Mr. Mann!
Canada is more than just cute chicks with great blogs you know.
We contribute!
We have a couple old submarines (I don't think they've ALL sunk yet, have they?)
And we have a helicopter.

He could have said something about the fact that we opted out of the whole fighting thing.
Made fun of Chretien a little.

I feel like I'm living in a complete void suddenly.

Oh well, at least I know I'm safe from terrorists.
They don't even know we exist; snuggled down as we are in our nearly invisible igloos against the blanket of blinding white snow.

I guess it's not such a bad thing.

I mean, Easter Island didn't get a mention either.

19 comments:

Zambo said...

Hey Tai!

So let me get this straight...Canada is more than just cute chicks with great blogs? I'm even from Canada and I did not know that...

Sounds like a good read despite the lack of "Cancon".

Take care out there, Tai!

Your Pal,

Zambo.

Pol* said...

cheers! I think quiet oversight is a good thing in this case. In most things BUSH I would rather not be mentioned (silly and perhaps naive that I am)

E. Rivera said...

"And we have a helicopter" made me laugh.

Tim Rice said...

Don't feel bad about not being mentioned. I think Bush got us citizens of the USA in a war that we never should have gotten into.

tsduff said...

Well, I know you (Canada)are real :-) Maybe I'll see your land one of these days.

kimber said...

I love the image of all us Canadian blog-chicks crouched in an igloo, surrounded by a blinding snowstorm. If there is any place I can imagine you not being comfortable, it's inside an igloo.

(You'd be muttering about the cold and demanding we head to a table by the fireplace at Burgoo, pronto!)

Jay Noel said...

Canada definitely has a ton of cute chicks with blogs. Maybe you should write a book about that.

Valkyrie said...

What does Mr. Spock have to do with George Bush?

Dagoth said...

Hi Tai

I would think you would be glad not to be associated with the Bush Administration.

We remember when the hostage crisis began in Iran that some U.S. embassy workers escaped by sneaking down the street to the Canadian Embassy where they were taken in and helped to get out of the country.

We also remember that the First Invasion of Normandy was NOT D-Day but done earlier by the Canadian Military (5,000 men of which about 3,000 died if I remember correctly).

Don't sell yourself short...

blackcrag said...

No, Tai, you (and the rest of Canada) are not living in a void--unless it is a void of American ignorance. By and large, Canada is only mentioned to be mocked south of our border.

I have met several engaging, intelligent Americans through my own blog. I have also met Americans whose total knowledge of Canada began and ended with meeting me. And that was in Seattle!

We are often looked at as the slightly odd, uncomprehending country bumpkin cousins of our American neighbours--which is why those "20 Things to be Proud You're Canadian" e-mails still burn up the the Canadian piece of the Internet, and are sent to Candians living in other countries around the world. And we are all around the world!

It is also why the most defining piece of Canadian culture in recent history was the "Hello, my name is Joe" beer commercials. Canada is the only country I know that defines itslef by what it isn't (i.e. not American) than by what it actually is, which is fantastic.

It is in part an unfounded inferiority complex, and in part a desperate cry against all the AMerican programming, American music, American magazines, and every other facet of American culture that we Canadians are innundated with.

Canada is also the only country that I am aware of that is so completely and totally informed of the doings and events of a second separate country, that they have absolutely no influence on.

To Tai's American readers... yes, what you just read are the sour grapes of an overshadowed younger brother or cousin. There are many good things about America. There are also many good things about Canada. It is our experience, as individuals and a nation, Canadians are noramally aware of the good tings south of the border. Americans rarely seem aware there even is a border, or a nation north of them.

How would you like to be constantly ignored or misconceived by your nearest neighbour, largest trade partner, and biggest cultural influence (whether we seek it out or not)? No, we don't like it either.

Phil said...

What? He left out Canada? How dare he! I am outraged. My love for Canada is second to none! I will not stand for this slight of our Neighbors to The North. Just to show Mr. Mann how little I think of his omission of Canada I'm not going to buy his book. Canada should be so outraged that they send their Dudley Do-Right mounties after Mr. Mann. Well, I guess that expedition could begin during the 2 weeks in August when Canada's snow melts a little.

Ian Lidster said...

Very, very cute chicks, I might add, with intriguing blogs. But, otherwise, being 'off' everybody's radar isn't always a bad thing, despite the implied insult to the national ego. Most amusing.

Mz.Elle said...

haahaahaa,cute chicks with great blogs.
That's perfect!

I kind of like that there's no mention of us..don't know why..just like it.

Crazy Me said...

Bush is a member of a group that is called the Vulcans? I always knew that guy was a freakin' E.T. FYI ... I didn't vote for him!!

Melissa said...

I saw a television show not long ago that was actually based in Canada, it was good. To my knowledge I'd never seen one before. Export more!

Seriously, why on earth would you want to be lumped into the great big steaming pile of horse shit that is our current administration? Be glad that in the history books 50 years from now you won't be a part of this raging fiasco.

dirk.mancuso said...

"Canada is more than just cute chicks with great blogs you know.
We contribute!"

Yes, you do. And gay men around the world thank you profusely for the gift we call Miss Jennifer Tilly.

Dagoth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dagoth said...

Hi Tai

I just got done asking all the American guys down here and we would like you to get your quote correct, we said "Canada is full of the HOTTEST chicks with the GREATEST blogs"....

And we don't agree on the whole igloo thing cuz we decided that "it is just too cold on the booty"...

Grant said...

Check the index for any references to moose, beaver, or maple syrup. We can't always remember the name of your unimportant country. I mean, if it really mattered we'd put it to some good use, like shooting a Samuel Jackson movie there.

And now I leave you too your moosey fate. :p