Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hey, I gotta job for ya.

A few years ago I worked in a warehousing facility in Richmond, BC.
It was a big place. Almost 200, 000 square feet of space. We shipped and received fridges, stoves, washing machines, inflatable husbands* and numerous other products and oddities. (What the knitted breast cups * were for was anyone's guess!)
I pushed paper. A little here, a little there. And I had the pleasure of speaking to the irrate customers whose shipments got lost somewhere between the Strait of Malacca (can you say 'pirates') and the Port of Vancouver.

It was a stressful kind of job. It always amazed me the fuss some people would make when their shipment of 'bangle toys'* failed to show up, or their load of 'plastic ster hop'* was damaged. Some of them couldn't have been any more stressed out than if it had been a new heart for their Grandmother's transplant that had gone astray.

One day my boss came to me and said, "C'mon, I've got a job for you. Can you drive standard?"

Can I drive standard!?! You bet I can. With glee. With joy. But I didn't say that. I just said, "Yup."

Turns out, we had also started shipping exotic cars. (No, not illegally! I made sure that all the paperwork for customs was in order, that was the other part of my job. I didn't make friends with all the gun-toting agents 'cus I was scammer!)

Ferrari's, BMW's, Porsches and lovely Lamborghini's.

And my job? My job was to drive those beautiful gleaming cars through the tightly packed warehouse and into a space so small that the mirrors on the cars had to be bent inwards so they didn't scrap off.

Yeah, I drove them into the containers.And then?
Then I had to get out of those cars. Somehow.

Occasionally I could squeeze out the door (after a piece of cardboard had been slipped between the door and the edge of the container) but most times? Most times saw me slithering head first over the back seats and through the trunk. Much to the amusement of my boss and the warehouse employees. I had to kick of my shoes before I even got in the vehicle. Didn't need my 3 inches heels gouging unsightly holes in the buttery leather.
On one occasion, I had to clamber onto the rear bumper of a Navigator, over the roof and then inch along the window frame in my socked feet (thankfully the window was down) to get to the front of the vehicle to unhook the battery. Then I had to turn around and reverse the order to get out.
Containers are really tight spaces when you cram a Lincoln SUV in there.

Once, two BMW's were being shipped over from Germany. These two cars had been shipped over for a commercial so no one was allowed to see them as they weren't 'on the market' in Canada at that time. They were wrapped fender to fender in white plastic, with only a tiny hole opened on the driver's side to see through.

They even flew two men over from Germany to oversee the off loading. I thought they were going to flip when my boss brought me out and said, "She'll be offloading them."
"Ja? SHE vill do dis??" They gruffed unhappily.

Oh yeah.

Offloaded both of them and loaded them straight into a covered truck for them to drive away on their super secret project.

I considered it a perk of the job.

And why did I get to do it?

'Cus everyone else was too scared. Scared they'd hit something, scared they'd scratch the paint, scared of being in the container.

Or they were too big. Crawling out through a car trunk requires a smallish person. Which I was. At the time. Heh.

Lucky for me, I'm not scared of anything.

Besides.

They had plenty of insurance.
*yes, those were real 'things' we shipped.

22 comments:

Hermes said...

I am sure you rocked at that job. If I ever need someone without fear to climb all over expensive stuff, I'll pay you double what you were making there!

Unknown said...

Wow! Quite a job—and it sounds as if you were uniquely qualified. Yet, I wonder, were you never tempted to drive one of those exotic cars out into the world and stomp on the accelerator and find out what that baby could do on the open road?

Tai said...

I've done that, too, Nick!

geewits said...

That sounds like a fun job!

How's your new house working out? I want to see more pictures.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

My goodness. What fun! Why would you leave the job. I like the way you showed those two Germans how you can drive. I might know those pirates in them Straits of Malacca....my hood.

Jazz said...

Did you ever just take the cars out for a spin around Victoria?

Pol* said...

AND you will have those memories for the rest of your life! I am showing my boys this post, they already think you are a goddess, but this will put them over the edge for sure. Brains, body, wit and charm and now fast exotic cars too!!!!

Ian Lidster said...

I remember chatting with you over dinner about that particular aspect of your job, Tai. You brought back some pleasant memories.

Mz.Elle said...

That sounds like the coolest job EVER!

OB Juan said...

Well, I have had some interesting jobs but this sounds pretty cool even if for a short while.

I would liekly be too tempted to pull it off the container and take off probably though!!!

Now I have this image in my head of you crawling out the back of a car barefoot....interesting!

Spider Girl said...

I MIGHT be able to crawl through the trunk, but I'm quite sure my finesse with this kind of automobile job would end right there.

Er, drive standard? *vehicle lurches wildly into side of container*

Oops.

Jo said...

Omigosh, I get claustrophobic just think about it.

Jo said...

I mean "thinking". But you knew that.

Jay Noel said...

Wow, now THAT'S a job I bet you didn't mind so much.

Mad Munkey said...

I'll keep you in mind for my Bentley when I win the lottery. hehe

kimber said...

You and sexy exotic cars are inexplicably drawn together, dear Tai!

blackcrag said...

I'm sure your boss, the Germans and whatever other dock workers were around where quite appreciative of your driving ability--and entertained by your lithe form clambering in and around those exotic cars.

Did anybody get that on video? Anybody?

tsduff said...

OMG - that is hilarious! I can relate, though without the perks... LOL - my daily (no space to open the dang car door) battle twists my back and makes my gyrate in positions a person should never have to make... Your reward sounds delicious.

Jo said...

Tai, when you lived in Vancouver, did you ever go to Bimini's on Fourth Avenue? (Well, didn't everyone go to Bimini's?

It burned down this morning.

:-(

Sparky said...

Wow..great story. What a weirdly cool job. Requires the skills of race car driver and a gymnast.

Jocelyn said...

This post is what blogging's all about for me: opening my eyes to stuff I never thought about before, like who drives the cars into those things--or that anyone does at all. I LOVE picturing all this.

Have you watched THE WIRE (tv show)? Season 2 of it is all about those containers and docks and bad things.

Crazy Me said...

You are such a rock star!