Um...what just happened there?

She looked like a sweet little old lady.
But I’m very concerned that I’ve done something terribly wrong.
You see, yesterday as I walked back to my car after paying for my gas, a darling old woman approached me and we began a very strange conversation.

“Hello dearie, did you pay first?” She asked, looking up at me. (And yes, she really DID say 'dearie'.)

I looked down, an unusual occurrence for my 5’3” height, and saw her.

“Um, pay first?” I asked, not sure what she was referring to.

“Yes, do you have to pay for the gas first?” She repeated, her voice sweet, kind, and a little shaky from long years of use.

“Oh, no. You can go ahead and start putting gas in your car and then pay when you’re done.”

“Ah, but I did have to pay here first, once.” She smelled gently of Crabtree and Evelyn talcum powder, her hair carefully coiffed and a pale shade of pink lipstick on her lips.

“That’s possible. But usually that’s after dark.” I was walking back to my car as we spoke, and she tagged along.

Her car was parked behind mine, and I began to get the feeling that she might need some help pumping her gas, so I went to her car to assist.

“Oh, thank you. Just $10 please.” She was staring carefully as the numbers whizzed by.
At ten dollars, I stopped and replaced the nozzle and re-capped her tank, and said, “There you go. Now you can pay.”

“I hope I don’t get caught.” She grabbed at my arm conspiratorially and lowered her voice.

“Caught?” Pardon me?

“I’m not supposed to have…I shouldn’t be driving.” She started and stopped, looking around suspiciously.

“Well,” I laughed, “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Those people at ICBC, three times I went in there…” She trailed off, pulling her cardigan close over her rounded shoulders.

“But, the last time was in March,” she continued, “I had to, I didn’t have food in the house for months!”

“uh…” How did this conversation spin so oddly?

“Oh, yes, but now I know that Safeway will deliver.” She nodded wisely to herself.

“Okay, well, don’t go speeding around now. Be safe.” I said, sounding like a fool.

“That’s okay, they won’t catch me.” I pretty sure I didn’t want to hear that from her.

As she made her way to the store to pay for her gas, she turned, waved and coyly pressed a single finger to her lips.

At least, I think she was going in to pay.

Who knows...perhaps the minute my back was turned she held up the store, jumped into her stolen(?) car and raced away on ten dollars worth of gas to the nearest Safeway to stock up for her great escape.

Maybe I should have taken down her license plate number.